How a growth mindset can transform fear

When making a list of things I want to do before dying, I never gave a single thought to including skiing, because skiing was always on the top of any list of things I thought I might die while doing.
I have always considered skiing an unnatural act, partly due to my lifelong fear of heights and fundamental respect for the forces of gravity.
The long ride up a mountain on a ski lift always appeared to be a prolonged anxiety attack quickly followed by a barely-controlled downward glide at speeds no human should move without a parachute.
I hate having things on my feet that make me move faster than a race-walk.
So no one was more surprised than I when, last week, I found myself enrolled in a ski trip with a reunion of friends and family on way to do some real skiing, which I even didn’t know where I was going or where I was staying.
When Albert Einstein, one of the greatest thinkers of all time, said “One should not pursue goals that are easily achieved. One must develop an instinct for what one can just barely achieve through one’s greatest efforts,” he might as well be talking about me (modest aside ;-), debating internally 'but why did I get into this?' or talking about any human being trying to shift their mindset to one of “growth”; I started to think to myself: 'challenges are good, they will make you grow Marisa!).
The trick is to stretch one’s abilities enough that the only “solid ground” upon which to feel secure is the inner strength to persevere and the belief that it is possible to learn this crazy new thing.
The “growth” mindset is experienced in real-time when we jump into the discomfort of doing something unfamiliar with the support of others.
My fellow ski friends, husband and son, became a support group who reminded me to approach things I know I will not be good at the same way a kid does, with a judgment-free openness to the fun of trying.
They reminded me of this with their goodwill and encouragement, and also with the fact that they were with me.
While skiing never caught on for me, those days on the side of a mountain were more than just struggling through anxiety and aching muscles. It became clear to me that even when I am not naturally drawn to an activity and have no talent for it, it is still possible to learn it. And that what is learned when facing down one fear is transferable to other challenges.
This is what the research about the “growth” mindset is about. When deeply involved with stretching our abilities, facing uncertainty, and focusing on the skills that move us forward toward a desired goal rather than a predetermined outcome, something shifts in our thinking and emotions, something we can continue to expand personally and professionally for as long as we are alive.
So what started to be an exciting but also scary week, end up to being full of fun, laughter, pain (ask my muscles ;-)) and practice of how maintaining a growth mindset helps to transform fear!
In summary:
* Fear is also overcome through the development of skills, even more, when the risk is real.
* Struggling can be the way to find new psychological “muscles” of attentive listening and interacting with neither script nor certainty.
* Letting go of control over anything but our own choices. Regardless the environment and all the external factors we can’t control, the more skills we develop, the more choices we have.
* We are most successful when we think about nothing but the present moment. Our focus has to be responding to the trail and its shifting conditions. The slightest tilt toward self-consciousness, second-guessing or judgment leads to a fall. Or a fail. So needless to say, there are always plenty of falls, fails, and flails, because most of us are much more practiced at judging, predicting and self-criticizing than the allowing a moment to unfold.
Shifting one’s mindset to keep a growth mindset is the key to staying with something new and challenging long enough to grow a skill set that can take us further down an unfamiliar paths.
And if we think about what our life, our career, our business is... nothing more... than unknown paths.
Keep practicing a growth mindset!
Marisa Lago de Carvalho
Founder Mind Bridges, Coach and Mentor
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